WHITE OUT. We’ve been looking for years for these suits, on and off. (Hey, on and off sounds nice!) But in recent weeks our bulge technicians realized that by now we shoulda stumbled across them if they had been out there. So we decided to dig deeper if they were gonna be so rare and all. We set aside the routine chores of bulge analytics this weekend and began an intense hunt for these hot Adidas suits in white — both in the “Originals” style pictured at top and new-logo style below.

Obviously Twinkz Illustrated’s usual suppliers, like swimoutlet and Metro Swim Shop and Kiefer didn’t have them, suggesting they’re not available in the U.S. We tried swiminn, which is overseas. Nope. We tried swim stores in the U.K. Nope. We tried eBay in the U.K. and then in Germany, where Adidas is based. We scoured German web sites for terms like “Adidas badehose.” Nope, nope, and nope, respectively. All we found was a mountain of black suits with white stripes, which we already had. And then, giving up on Google, we stooped to Bing. Reduction in dignity aside, Bing is what gave us our lead. Suddenly we weren’t looking for “Adidas badehose Weiß” but “Adidas costume uomo bianco/nero.” Success! These rare suits are out there, concealed in the lycra underground of Italy like terrorists in a cave!

No longer. Twinkz Illustrated is going to photograph a whole pool full of models in these suits. Be patient and rub your Speedo for a bit. The pics will be up soon.

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