THE MODEL SEEMS to be Arnau Salinas, wearing the same Turbo New Zealand water-polo suit that we have in wardrobe here at the Twinkz Illustrated Bulge Lab! The Lab also determined that his dick is pointed to the left and uncut. Unfortunately the photographer did not think to have his camera’s sensor cleaned. Look at all of the dust.

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THIS SEEMS TO BE A Puma compression boxer-brief, widely strewn throughout the U.S. now at discount stores like Ross and TJ Maxx. For that we censure this beach-goer: Only Speedos or other competition swim briefs are proper attire in most any setting, but especially this one. Our Bulge Lab analysts commend him for the black material and green stitching; we would order a suit from TruWest or Agon with that theme. And they commend him for the 11-inch circumcized downward-curved dick that twists about 28 degrees cockwise when stiff.

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BULGE LAB FINDINGS: A swimmer-exhibitionist in his Spidey suit. Our bulge technicians frown on suits with graphics because they distort, warp, contort, diffuse, distract and conceal the contents. And swimmers are swimmers to exhibit. Nonetheless our bulge lab went to work on these photos using X-ray geometry and topographic imaging and high-frequency radiometry. They find that this swimmer is uncut and has a straight upward-pointing rod of about 8 or 9 inches and above-average thickness. He’s also not hard here. But he’s blazing hot. We should loan him some suits for more pics! More of him at @jonnypistolxxx

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This swimmer’s team uses Nike swim briefs with a bulge-obfuscating pattern and a seam down the ass crack. To paraphrase the late John Pinette, we say nay, nay! (John Pinette was, as his shtick pointed out, one very large bulge himself.) The seam on Nike swim briefs (not present on Nike water-polo briefs) is just hideous. What’s worse is that patterned suits in lieu of solid ones are designed to thwart the practice of bulge analytics. With all of their clouds and spots and lines and graphics, they bisect and trisect and blur a bulge into pieces of a puzzle. They distort, diffract, diffuse, obfuscate and warp. They even absorb light — all so that the outline of a swimmer’s dick can’t be reflected back into the world. Nay, nay! That’s a crime. We’ll stick with solids.

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hotschoolboy16:

“Yes sir, i’m a worthless slut that lost the race”

“Sir, when may I take my hands down, sir?”

Bulge Lab Findings: Tough situation. If you point it down, it’ll get hard at some point and demand to come up. But if you point it up, it’ll punch above the waist line. In this case, it’s already about to!

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inaswaa:

Somebody appears to be more than just a wee bit excited to swim!

We here at the Twinkz Illustrated Bulge Lab frown heavily upon jammers as proper swim attire. But photographer @inaswaa keeps our bulge technicians so busy analyzing the brilliant shiny contents of jammers that he’s been granted clemency! Now put your briefs on!

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kinkyswimmer:

KIDNAPPED – SAL

A fourth year electrical engineering major, Sal was yet another freakishly talented individual. Besides having one of the highest GPA’s in his class, a beautiful girlfriend, and aspirations to study a masters in computer science before embarking on a career in high tech – Sal was an excellent swimmer.

Like his teammates, he too was incredibly cute and had a very, very nice ass.

Bulge Lab Findings: This TYR suit looks a size too big or has unstylish wide sides or both. In any case, the contents are fine: A cut dick pointed to the right that gets to 5.5″ hard.

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Bulge Lab Findings: More of a grower in this suit, but cut, and hanging down and to the right a bit. That may be a black Turbo “basic” suit.

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Yep – the REAL post from the Bulge Lab of the Salvisberg boy and his brothers. Have always figured that left-positioned dick was faked but nonetheless, it looks good. UPDATE: Bulge Lab Intelligence is reporting that the photographer is known in the Bulge Analytics community as Buffboi.

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Here’s an example of the BULGE OBFUSCATION we’re talking about in this post. When you lose the wrinkly bulge, the irritating bunch-ups, and the abrasive material, you have what’s in this photo here. Surprise! Now you know what’s in there and that’s the way it should be. That is if you bother to look!

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Bulge Lab Findings: This semi-cheerful swimmer keeps his cut dick up and to the left. Analysis indicates 5.5″ hard.

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Bulge Lab findings: Since he’s wearing a thick patterned Turbo suit, the bulge is nearly unanalyzable. We hope his dick is not as pixelated as what Turbo glorifies as its “sublimated dye” patterns.

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Bulge Lab findings: The swimmer is not in the USA despite what the Arena suit says, probably. But he does have a thick uncut dick pointed up. It is chokingly thick when hard, but only gets to about 5.5 inches.

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Bulge Lab Findings: Pointed down but thick and curved to the right when stiff. It also reminds us of the photos at @inaswaa 

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twinkzillustrated:

IT’S THE SWIMSUIT ISSUE FOR TWINKZ! A blog of my Daddy’s work and other stuff! Like feature stories about Speedos and the delicious stuff inside them! All right here on two blogs!

Bulge Lab findings: This dick is points up when the suit is on or off, and is 6″ uncut with an upward curve.

A sportsgallery.eu photo posted by a member of Team Bulge here at the Department of Bulge Analytics and Twinkz Illustrated!

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Another shiny revealing pic from @inaswaa (It’s Not a Shiny World After All). Sadly this swimmer model isn’t following Twinkz Illustrated Bulge Lab Dress Code, which dicktates (ha!) briefs only. But the contents of his jammer make “up” (ha!) for it!

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Bulge Lab findings: Uncut, pointed to the right, and a real whopper when stiff!

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twinkz-deillustrated:

Bulge Lab findings : That’s a cut dick pointed up and to the left, 7 inches hard and with a slight upward curve. Also, it’s apparently encapsulated in two 100% nylon Speedos. Once dry, they’ll feel silky and lubey and he’ll be able to use them to squirt.

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Bulge Lab findings: Insufficient data. But sexy Adidas shorts.

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twinklover:

That package😋😋

The Bulge Lab didn’t have any trouble issuing its report on this one! Even when it’s soft he has no room to point it up in that suit!

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