NYLON? TWINKZ ILLUSTRATED BRIEFLY interviewed AussieBum founder Sean Ashby recently about the state of this fucking-hot material. And here we give you more about it and what he said about its future. You’re choosing well when you choose nylon (especially what’s been known as nylon tricot for decades) as material for your swim briefs, running […]
WHITE OUT. We’ve been looking for years for these suits, on and off. (Hey, on and off sounds nice!) But in recent weeks our bulge technicians realized that by now we shoulda stumbled across them if they had been out there. So we decided to dig deeper if they were gonna be so rare and all. We set aside the routine chores of bulge analytics this weekend and began an intense hunt for these hot Adidas suits in white — both in the “Originals” style pictured at top and new-logo style below.
Obviously Twinkz Illustrated’s usual suppliers, like swimoutlet and Metro Swim Shop and Kiefer didn’t have them, suggesting they’re not available in the U.S. We tried swiminn, which is overseas. Nope. We tried swim stores in the U.K. Nope. We tried eBay in the U.K. and then in Germany, where Adidas is based. We scoured German web sites for terms like “Adidas badehose.” Nope, nope, and nope, respectively. All we found was a mountain of black suits with white stripes, which we already had. And then, giving up on Google, we stooped to Bing. Reduction in dignity aside, Bing is what gave us our lead. Suddenly we weren’t looking for “Adidas badehose Weiß” but “Adidas costume uomo bianco/nero.” Success! These rare suits are out there, concealed in the lycra underground of Italy like terrorists in a cave!
No longer. Twinkz Illustrated is going to photograph a whole pool full of models in these suits. Be patient and rub your Speedo for a bit. The pics will be up soon.
One of Allen’s pics. TruWest suit on the outside. TruWest has declined in popularity for water polo since this photo was taken. Turbo seems to have its business. With the kind of inattentive service we get when we order from TruWest, we’re not surprised. Allen of course distributed his images at allensnaps.com if we remember right — until a bunch of hell was raised about those pics getting placed by others onto more porny sites.
This swimmer’s team uses Nike swim briefs with a bulge-obfuscating pattern and a seam down the ass crack. To paraphrase the late John Pinette, we say nay, nay! (John Pinette was, as his shtick pointed out, one very large bulge himself.) The seam on Nike swim briefs (not present on Nike water-polo briefs) is just hideous. What’s worse is that patterned suits in lieu of solid ones are designed to thwart the practice of bulge analytics. With all of their clouds and spots and lines and graphics, they bisect and trisect and blur a bulge into pieces of a puzzle. They distort, diffract, diffuse, obfuscate and warp. They even absorb light — all so that the outline of a swimmer’s dick can’t be reflected back into the world. Nay, nay! That’s a crime. We’ll stick with solids.
What’s worse than a Turbo water-polo suit for deciphering a bulge? A space suit. Even veteran bulge analysts are lost here. Cute picture, though. We hope he’s wearing a Speedo under there to keep things interesting. Preferably with the inner liner cut out for maximum bulge analyzability.
SCORE:Twinkz Illustrated recruited a goalie for some photos the other day. Which was nice. Because we can always find water-polo players who want to surrender their bodies for photos in briefs. But not goalies. Understandable. They’re so tired from taking all of those shots from all of those other twink shooters trying to attack their boxes all day long — with all of those skip shots, lob shots, curve shots, screw shots, tee shots, wet shots, penalty shots. All of those shiny wet swimmers shooting at them with their cradle grips and three-finger releases and backspin rotations. God, they really make a goalie work to get his hands on the balls. Sometimes the only relief is an ejection foul. After all of the frenzy, you’d rather get head from a teammate than wrap your bulge in a water-polo brief for photographs. Except in this case. We have our ways.
This goalie’s team wears University Red Nike polyester water-polo briefs. Since there’s no lycra in them, his team’s suits also happen to feel slick and lubey when the players rub their bulges together. The king of slipperyness and lubeyness is nylon tricot, which Speedos used to be made of (lycra got added a few years ago and it was a show-stopper). This goalie is feeling the stimulus of nylon tricot against his suit in the second picture in the form of TYR nylon shorts.
There’s no place in the world that romanticizes and poeticizes nylon as well as the Nylon Speedo Authority’s site meninnylon.blogspot.com. Twinkz Illustrated of course erects the occasional nylon-related post and you can check the tag for it.
Behind the Scenes at the Tournament. These two opponents snuck off to play with themselves instead of against themselves. What an outcum! Now for a quick shower.
Of course the nylon TYR suit on the left might’ve been a slick and lubey aphrodisiac if rubbed correctly against another nylon suit, but it was wet. Not that a Turbo suit made of polyester and polybutylene terephthalate (what?!) feels slick or lubey either, wet or dry. You’ll really get a “feel” for nylon at the Nylon Speedo Authority’s site.
Another post from our Chief Bulge Analyst here at the Department of Bulge Analytics! Hey, notice he’s kinda eyeing the goalie in front of him. If it’s a goalie’s job to get his hands on the balls, how is he missing the ones two feet away?! And below we’ve included another pic of this water-polo player from the Bulge Lab Library. Guaranteed you haven’t seen it floating around. We have some exclusive shit here at the Lab.
Bulge Lab Findings: Thick and uncut, of course. A handful, mouthful and assfull, depending on what you do with it. Also, this Turbo suit seems to be of an older style. The sides are wider than they are today. Turbo suits now have the narrowest cuts around for competition. If you want narrower, get a bikini or something else, but Team Bulge will not endorse that.
Refer to this post here if you want a refresher on competition swimwear always being acceptable as underwear but underwear (or whatever weird incarnation 2xist or DorkyDonky Chinese Fashion House inserts into the world) never being acceptable as swimwear. Or really at all!
Our Bulge Analytics Department would reveal that this water-polo player’s dick is cut, a bit over 7″ and points downward when hard, just like it points downward in his suit when soft. Here it is clearly half hard, and you can see the suit nestling his head into the bottom of his sack.
Swimmers whose dicks point up when hard often point their dicks up in their suits so that their shiny wet chlorinated organs can inflate freely when they get hard at a meet or a water-polo match.
In any case there’s no need for Bulge Analytics to inform us what kind of dick is in this suit because you can see it right here!
Surprise! One of our posts of William’s early work. At the time, William’s pics were dense high-quality files. You might have cropped them a tad just to save hard-drive space! The earliest of William’s photos noticed by the Bulge Lab are from 1997. And this is shot on film before people were using digital cameras. William is said to have been insanely careful about quality and detail. He’s also said to have designed that typeface himself – the one you see saying “William ’99" here. Read more about William here.
Ditching the Cotton. This swimmer has ditched his American Eagle waistband in exchange for drawstrings. He’d rather have you fantasizing about the suit he’s wearing than a wrinkly cotton lump that doesn’t tell you what’s inside. Dear Twink: You’re asking the right questions, and there is a solution to your problem. First you need to […]
Absolutely no break for the so-called “Gray Speedo Boy” photographed by Scott Stanford! He is posted, reposted, reblogged, resized, retouched. (Hey, we didn’t get to touch him the first time! What gives with the retouching!) People have even changed his suit from gray to red. And guess what! That’s a TYR suit, not a Speedo. Probably 100% nylon also. Which means it’s slick and lubey and an aphrodisiac when you rub bulges in it! Click the Scott Stanford tag to see a bit more about Scott, and check for more later, especially if Scott is interested in talking with Twinkz Illustrated about his photography.
greatbaker315: So as a couple weeks have passed, I haven’t heard from the guy I like. I guess I am just a guy to get used for sex. You try so hard to find someone, but all they are looking for is sex. Why does every guy I talk to just want sex and if […]
A Twinkz Illustrated model in a nylon TYR water-polo Destroyer brief. Continue below. Suits made out of nylon were always the sexiest, hottest, orgasm-inducingest suits. Why? The material was slicker than lube. Polyester sometimes achieves a lubey effect, too, and you can mate it with your schlong without being too heretical against nylon. So when […]
Smooth, wet, tanned and twinky. His Daddy must be quite happy. Especially if he rubs bulges with him whilst wearing another nylonTruWest suit like this one. Of course it won’t be slick and lubey unless it’s dry — and if it’s dry enough to have fun with, conversely, it won’t be dry long! Did we mention this is a photo by Scott Stanford, who took lots of pics in the golden era of poolside photography, which featured tons of shiny wet dicks that got people mad at the photographers? Yep. More about him here.
(Some have pointed out that our Bulge Lab shouldn’t be lumping Scott Stanford and Allen into the same article with William and @sinalphoto and, more unrelated still, people who only scanned photos, like Johnie or Regis or whatnot. Well, the theme is that they’re all distributors of hot male content, so they’re all mentioned in the same piece!)
We have long been a fan of Adidas, the brand with three stripes started by Adolph “Adi” Dassler. Do you know if shorts like these were ever made with 100% nylon tricot? We think that shooting big long streams of load onto shorts like that would make for a very hot fourth stripe. Sincerely, twinkz-illustrated.com
YES! Adidas did make their 3-striped shorts in nylon tricot–and I added that “4th stripe” to many of them!
(Another reconstituted post of a reconstituted post.) If your Speedo feels like lube, you have a nylon Speedo on, my Daddy says! Yes, you can go to Dick’s and get a Speedo and it will say 80% nylon! But that’s not a real nylon Speedo! The real ones were 100% nylon! They’re the only ones […]
seriousaboutspeedos: “So,” you may be wondering. “So, what about swimming and boys?” Twenty-four boys in Speedos, every afternoon at practice – for a boy who likes boys, it sounds like heaven. But, like everything in life, it’s not quite the way you would imagine. As I’ve said elsewhere, I was a competitor. Particularly at dual […]
bimikeyyy: twinkzillustrated: It’s the Speedo Student! He wore Speedos and other hot swimwear all over the place and did naughty things for us to see! It’s posted at the After Dark blog because this blog is for daylight hours only! Which is fine! My Daddy says it’s during daylight hours when swimmers and water-polo players […]
From meninnylon.blogspot.com, a blog about nylon, emphasis on when Speedos were nylon — and how very different they felt if you rubbed up against your teammate’s Speedo with your own. (I keep telling him to move everything to Tumblr …)
seriousaboutspeedos: Stories From the Swimmers Who Stole Your Speedos. The more you’re missing, the hotter they think you are. Says One Thief: “I don’t think gold bars would have made me any happier.” First up, the Speedo authority at meninnylon.blogspot.com (who figures he swiped 70 suits in his career): My first major crush was in 10th grade […]
twinkzillustratedxxx: bj101stuff: seriousaboutspeedos: “William,” who said that isn’t really his name, was THE photographer for boys in Speedos starting maybe 18 years ago. He’s from Australia; he took tons of pics of boys in Speedos, board shorts, cycling gear and rowing outfits, along with plain ol’ headshots. He’s simply the patriarch of the beach-boys, swimmers-in-Speedos […]