IT’S OUR LIFEGUARD after he changed out of his official Jacksonville Beach lifeguard suit from agonswim and into this Speedo.

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OUR BULGE LAB ANALYZED these shots and determined the one on the left wasn’t wearing underwear. He should be wearing a competition swim brief without the shorts. But not everybody minds our dicktates, alas.

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TWINKZ ILLUSTRATED HAS BEEN training this swimmer on proper beach attire – which means Speedo. But he thinks you’ll like what you see way too much, so he opts to tease instead. (He did model one of our new white Adidas suits from Italy recently, though.)

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THIS SWIMMER KEEPS putting up with our photographers! It’s our fifth shoot. Except this time he’s wearing an ultra-rare white Adidas swim brief — so rare we could only find it in Italy! We have reports from overseas bulge analysts that it was also available at Adidas outlet stores in France.

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OUR SWIMMER IN HIS white Adidas swim brief, ordered from Italy, since you can’t find them in the United States! For that matter, Twinkz Illustrated just about exhausted the entire Italian inventory by ordering about 12 of these. Read about the heroic mission we went on to find these suits here

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ANOTHER WATER-POLO GOALIE posing for our cameras. That Nike water-polo suit thankfully does not have the hideous seam down the ass crack that the Nike swim brief has.

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Just got my first 100% nylon brief swimwear from AussieBum. They feel awesome wearing them as usual underwear. Any suggestion what brand to buy next? The white Turbo briefs look nice.

NYLON? TWINKZ ILLUSTRATED BRIEFLY interviewed AussieBum founder Sean Ashby recently about the state of this fucking-hot material. And here we give you more about it and what he said about its future. You’re choosing well when you choose nylon (especially what’s been known as nylon tricot for decades) as material for your swim briefs, running […]

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THIS WAS SHOT ON KODAK film. Our photographer and chief bulge analyst hastily opened the camera’s rear cover when it was time to change rolls and exposed the film to light without first rewinding it, thus damaging all of the shots. This is a cleaned-up result. Damage aside, any bulge analyst can still conclude that our swimmer keeps his plump cut dick pointed to the left. Were it not for the modern lycra Size 28 Speedo, you might think this was taken in 1962!

We had our digital camera with us, too. See a shot from it here.

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THIS SEEMS TO BE A Puma compression boxer-brief, widely strewn throughout the U.S. now at discount stores like Ross and TJ Maxx. For that we censure this beach-goer: Only Speedos or other competition swim briefs are proper attire in most any setting, but especially this one. Our Bulge Lab analysts commend him for the black material and green stitching; we would order a suit from TruWest or Agon with that theme. And they commend him for the 11-inch circumcized downward-curved dick that twists about 28 degrees cockwise when stiff.

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Reposting this shot of our oceanic lovebirds. Unfortunately we managed to only get one properly dressed — as in wearing an Adidas swim brief! Mr. Board Shorts says his private parts simply couldn’t fit into any of our suits!

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WHITE OUT. We’ve been looking for years for these suits, on and off. (Hey, on and off sounds nice!) But in recent weeks our bulge technicians realized that by now we shoulda stumbled across them if they had been out there. So we decided to dig deeper if they were gonna be so rare and all. We set aside the routine chores of bulge analytics this weekend and began an intense hunt for these hot Adidas suits in white — both in the “Originals” style pictured at top and new-logo style below.

Obviously Twinkz Illustrated’s usual suppliers, like swimoutlet and Metro Swim Shop and Kiefer didn’t have them, suggesting they’re not available in the U.S. We tried swiminn, which is overseas. Nope. We tried swim stores in the U.K. Nope. We tried eBay in the U.K. and then in Germany, where Adidas is based. We scoured German web sites for terms like “Adidas badehose.” Nope, nope, and nope, respectively. All we found was a mountain of black suits with white stripes, which we already had. And then, giving up on Google, we stooped to Bing. Reduction in dignity aside, Bing is what gave us our lead. Suddenly we weren’t looking for “Adidas badehose Weiß” but “Adidas costume uomo bianco/nero.” Success! These rare suits are out there, concealed in the lycra underground of Italy like terrorists in a cave!

No longer. Twinkz Illustrated is going to photograph a whole pool full of models in these suits. Be patient and rub your Speedo for a bit. The pics will be up soon.

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GOODBYE, SCALIA. On to the big gay orgy in the sky. Enjoy. Don’t forget to swallow.

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WE CAUGHT THIS MARINE an hour before his game at the annual “Combat Water Polo Tournament” held every year at Camp Pendelton in California. He had decided at 6 a.m. to wear his game suit all day and was glad to show it to us. That being the “King of Hearts” suit by Turbo, of course. 

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