TWINKZ ILLUSTRATED HAS THIS SUIT, an Arena brief called the “Santamarias.” Who knows why it’s plural because we thought there was only one Santa Maria! We skipped ordering too many of these because we were already clearing out the entire Italian inventory of this white Adidas suit here and here.
THE MODEL SEEMS to be Arnau Salinas, wearing the same Turbo New Zealand water-polo suit that we have in wardrobe here at the Twinkz Illustrated Bulge Lab! The Lab also determined that his dick is pointed to the left and uncut. Unfortunately the photographer did not think to have his camera’s sensor cleaned. Look at all of the dust.
TURBO’S THICK MATERIAL AND PATTERNS and graphics interfere with bulge analytics. This is its “Red Baron” suit. You won’t find it anywhere. We wonder who took this photo and why we haven’t seen 10 more.
THIS SWIMMER KEEPS putting up with our photographers! It’s our fifth shoot. Except this time he’s wearing an ultra-rare white Adidas swim brief — so rare we could only find it in Italy! We have reports from overseas bulge analysts that it was also available at Adidas outlet stores in France.
OUR SWIMMER IN HIS white Adidas swim brief, ordered from Italy, since you can’t find them in the United States! For that matter, Twinkz Illustrated just about exhausted the entire Italian inventory by ordering about 12 of these. Read about the heroic mission we went on to find these suits here.
ANOTHER WATER-POLO GOALIE posing for our cameras. That Nike water-polo suit thankfully does not have the hideous seam down the ass crack that the Nike swim brief has.
THIS WAS SHOT ON KODAK film. Our photographer and chief bulge analyst hastily opened the camera’s rear cover when it was time to change rolls and exposed the film to light without first rewinding it, thus damaging all of the shots. This is a cleaned-up result. Damage aside, any bulge analyst can still conclude that our swimmer keeps his plump cut dick pointed to the left. Were it not for the modern lycra Size 28 Speedo, you might think this was taken in 1962!
Vintage Speedo box. In this case, the former home to a GREEN SPEEDO! “Pull the suit up onto the body in stages,” the box says. What if your teammate wants to help?
BULGE LAB FINDINGS: Even though there’s no “crater” at the tip signifying foreskin, our technicians nonethless determined this swimmer is uncut. They’re saying 8 inches, slight downward curve when stiff. For a higher-quality pic, see this posting of the pic at the Nylon Speedo Authority’s site. (If you didn’t know, swim briefs used to be made out of nylon tricot and when you rubbed suits with other swimmers, the suits were so slick and lubey that you could squirt.)
Reposting this shot of our oceanic lovebirds. Unfortunately we managed to only get one properly dressed — as in wearing an Adidas swim brief! Mr. Board Shorts says his private parts simply couldn’t fit into any of our suits!
Here’s a 19-year-old swimmer who was hanging around the Twinkz Illustrated penthouse one day and got a bit excited about wearing his TYR swim brief. More of this swimmer by clicking the tag or by seeing his tag at Twinkz De-Illustrated.
Our Bulge Analytics Department would reveal that this water-polo player’s dick is cut, a bit over 7″ and points downward when hard, just like it points downward in his suit when soft. Here it is clearly half hard, and you can see the suit nestling his head into the bottom of his sack.
Swimmers whose dicks point up when hard often point their dicks up in their suits so that their shiny wet chlorinated organs can inflate freely when they get hard at a meet or a water-polo match.
In any case there’s no need for Bulge Analytics to inform us what kind of dick is in this suit because you can see it right here!
Another post from our Chief Bulge Analyst here at the Department of Bulge Analytics! Hey, notice he’s kinda eyeing the goalie in front of him. If it’s a goalie’s job to get his hands on the balls, how is he missing the ones two feet away?! And below we’ve included another pic of this water-polo player from the Bulge Lab Library. Guaranteed you haven’t seen it floating around. We have some exclusive shit here at the Lab.
Bulge Lab Findings: Thick and uncut, of course. A handful, mouthful and assfull, depending on what you do with it. Also, this Turbo suit seems to be of an older style. The sides are wider than they are today. Turbo suits now have the narrowest cuts around for competition. If you want narrower, get a bikini or something else, but Team Bulge will not endorse that.
Refer to this post here if you want a refresher on competition swimwear always being acceptable as underwear but underwear (or whatever weird incarnation 2xist or DorkyDonky Chinese Fashion House inserts into the world) never being acceptable as swimwear. Or really at all!
